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Everyone in today’s world is worried about the environment. There are so many differences in opinion about what to save, what to bulldoze and what animals are becoming endangered. So how can we save ourselves from the fiery feuds and uprisings regarding this subject? Well, for starters, if there’s no environment to live in, people won’t have a whole heck of a lot to complain about or attempt to save. This is why it’s my belief that we should simply bulldoze everything. Humans have been known to flock to sandy beaches, so wouldn’t it be positively lovely if the entire world was one large area to build giant sand castles? There’d be a decrease in plant life and trees that some may complain about. However, for shade these oddballs could always turn to their trusty umbrellas and since there would be no trees, no one would ever have to worry about forest fires ever again. Think of how excited the folks out west would be, not to mention the firefighters. Instead of fighting fires, they’d be in their bathing suits sipping fruit smoothies underneath their colorful umbrellas in Minnesota.


Now, I’m sure that some silly folks may balk at this thought, as if anyone would have the nerve to suggest this hair-brained scheme where animal life would plummet. Seriously, though, when was the last time a giraffe did anything for you? Who needs a rhinoceros or a penguin? It’s not like there would be no animal life. There’d still be the fascinating, quick moving snails and tortoises along the golden land. Nature lovers would rejoice among the smallest creatures and become one with the slugs!


Also, as there are so many land area disputes around the world today, if all the land was sand, we’d have no reason to fight over whose sand was better than the next plot of dust. We’d be living in perfect harmony and the past generations of environmentalists and peace activists would be dancing in their graves. Yes, we would all be living in solidarity with no more fears or worries about the earth’s natural resources or endangered species. If there’s nothing left to save, except for perhaps our sunburns, then there’s no longer arguments over the Earth.


So, my friends, what are you waiting for? All we’ll need are some heavy duty bulldozers to shape this world and our natural surroundings into one of harmony, beauty and three hundred and sixty-five days of summer. We’ll never see another forest fire, protest to save the trees or endangered species, and we can drill oil on any plot of sand we’d like. Indeed, the key to unity lies in one single, fabulous entity the beautiful, miraculous bulldozer. After all, how can we fight over the environment when there’s nothing left?


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