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“Oh no, Dana!”, I cried distressed, “Please don’t do it!”. Ironically, tears ran down my face instead of hers, she just stood there, at the edge of this deep ravine und looked at my sadly. “Honey, my reasons are clear and I’ve put a letter in your room. When you read it, you’ll understand my decision.”, she said lowly. “Just don’t forget me and forgive me please!”


“Noooo!!!!!!”, I screamed, but then she took a step back and threw herself into the abyss! Suddenly me feet weren’t strong enough anymore and I found myself sitting on the ground and crying. I didn’t understand anything. Everything had seemed to be alright, when we had left our motel to go hiking. But then Dana had gone to that ravine and had told me of her intention to commit suicide.


A whole world collapsed for me in these minutes � or hours, I didn’t know � when I sat in the wood and cried. I hadn’t been able to do anything to stop her, but I felt so terrible, I had such an bad conscience.


Dana, what was wrong? When I met you, I got to know a cheerful person who wanted to see the world. What has happened to change you into a woman who kills herself just on a trip into the mountains? Was it me? Or were there any serious problems from your past? Or…


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I didn’t know an answer, not one, but it was senseless to sit in the wood until a bear would come to eat me.


Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst…


I forced myself to stand up and to turn away from the ravine…


Dana


… and walked along the way, we came. Tears ran down my face again.


Asshole, at least you could try to find her corpse…


But I knew, I wouldn’t be able to do so, if I wanted to come back. In my mind I saw Dana, laughing and giggling happily, while the sun went down slowly.


I finally came back, but I came back alone. I knew there would be a message for me in my motel room. And I dreaded the moment I would have to read it.





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