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The Minor High School Tales

The General Prologue

As the weekend approaches Troha, a large best man that devours all food, make his way from Preston Place apartments to the great Wal-Mart. While exploring Wal-Mart he encounters 8 different characters all of which are his friends from Minor High School. These characters include Ryan with anger management problems and a strong obsession for playstation. Then there is Todd with his hideous mullet and love for drugs and alcohol and especially degrading towards women. Todd has a brother Brent. Brent is quit slow at everything, he is very strong however unable to use his strength. Ashley is next, she is a whore who wears very reveling clothes and has had many partners in her time. Drew is a wise man with a passion for fish and turtles. Drew has a girlfriend April who loves to cook and never misses an episode of the hit fox TV show “The O.C.” Drew and April always tend to always argue. Joey, the roommate of Troha, is a unique character that can quote any movie and owns two cats named Blue and Jinxie. Last there is JC, a man that thinks he’s a thug and is constantly intoxicated.

The Minor High School Tale


Troha, the great beastly man that devours any food in sight sits in his horrendous home at Preston Place apartments. Wondering where his roommate Joey the unique is, he gets hungry. After exploring the cabinets for food, he decides to venture off to Wal-Mart for some shopping.

Getting in his mighty white ninety-four Dodge Shadow that has to spots where obliviously it has been hit, he speeds off. As the Shadow makes its way further and further down the long stretch of Skyland Blvd, the bright light of Wal-Mart shines into Troha’s eyes. After parking he makes his way through the sliding doors and into the store. Upon entering he immediately sees Brent, brother of Todd, pitching a fit with the cashier. It seems that Brent is unable to write a check for his groceries. There is a long line behind Brent with many torn out checks lying around the cashier’s feet. Every vein in Brent’s body is bulging out due to his frustration and Troha tells the cashier and customers not to worry that he can do no harm. As Troha approaches the register Brent looks relieved and embarrassed. Troha simply explains how to write a check to Brent and as he wipes his tears from his veined face, Brent gathers up his bags he heads off.

As Troha continues on his shopping spree, he runs into April in the fresh food section. She is looking over the tomatoes one at a time to make sure she gets the finest. Troha, not knowing anything about fresh foods for he only buys chips & dip and candy, ask April what she is doing. She explains that she is buying vegetables for he famous beef stew. She says she is having a party Wednesday night for the return of the fox show “The O.C.,” and she invites Troha to come by and eat some of the stew. When asked about Drew her boyfriend, she just roles her eyes and accidentally smashes a tomato in her hands. Troha feeling her anger decides to get away from the food section for a while and on to electronics. As he turns into the playstation aisle he can hear Ryan cursing and hitting the wall with his fist. Troha notices little kids that are crying and some look afraid to move. Many of them have been waiting in line to play the game for many hours. Ryan picks up a controller and asks Troha if he would like to play a game of Madden Football for a while. Troha says no, for he fears what Ryan might do to him if he were to beat him at the game. All of the sudden a loud bang happens against the aisle next to him. As Troha goes to investigate the noise he finds out that JC the drunk has stumbled against the aisle. He tells Troha that he was trying to reach a gold chain for sale with a large dollar sign symbol on it. Troha, hardly able to breath from the alcoholic fumes reeking from JC’s breath, picks the chain up off the floor for him. JC puts on the gold chain and while throwing up some kind of gang sign with his hand he yells out some Ebonics. JC asks Troha where he could buy a throwback Raiders jersey then grabs his hand and does some kind of bizarre handshake and leaves. At that instance Drew the marine lover, walks up carrying two bags of water with some sort of tropical kind of fish in each. After a fifteen-minute explanation of the fish he begins to tell Troha that his other fish died and he can’t stand to see an empty aquarium. When asked how April is doing, he accidentally drops one of the bags and the fish flops around helplessly on the floor. Troha leaves Drew to clean up the mess and makes his way back to the food section. Upon his way back he runs into Todd who’s mullet is flapping around while he skirmishes through the pharmacy section of the store. He smells of weed and cigarettes. The cigarettes are obviously a sad attempt to cover up the weed smell. He rattles when he moves as if he has stolen bottles of pills and put them in every one of his pockets. Troha tries not to be seen by Todd but he is noticed. Upon being noticed Troha ask what are Todd’s plans for tonight. Todd with a smirk on his face, laughs, holds up his case of beer and shakes a bottle of loritabs in Troha’s face insinuating that he will be highly sloppy later tonight. Todd then asks if he has seen Ashley around for he is looking for some action. Troha says no, and begins on his way.

Troha beginning to smell the chips & dip and candy continues his way to the food aisle. Before he gets there he runs into Ashley who hands are full of contraceptives and lubricates. She’s dressed like a floozy with her low cut shirt and mini skirt and proceeds to tell me that she is wearing crotch less panties. She asks Troha if he’s seen any guys looking for a good time and he undoubtedly points in the direction of Todd. She then replies “Nawww I was with him last night, and he really doesn’t do it for me.” Troha with a disgusted look on his face walks away. He is soon cheerful again as he sees a sign labeled “Chips & Dip and Candy,” with a big arrow pointing down. He runs fast as his massive body can take him towards the aisle. His heart racing, his eyes widening as he gets closer and closer to his treasure. While he stands in front of the glories bag of food, there seems to be a gospel choir singing and a beam of light from the sky directly hitting his fortune. As drool leaks from his quivering lips he grabs the chips and dip and candy and skips happily back towards the register. Troha, unable to contain himself, pulls out his candy and chips & dip and begins munching down on his way back home to Preston Place.

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