Lettor to Editor: Black vs. White

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I am a nineteen-year-old, Italian-American female and writing in response to your article "Bring Me Home a Black Girl" found in the December 00 issue of Essence magazine. While I fully support raising children to have self pride in their culture and values, I strongly oppose confining them to date only within their Black race simply to maintain the Black community. One of the key points in your article, "…to want to be with people who share the same values, religion and culture is very normal, it is not anti-anybody else," I fully agree with. It is understandable that people are most comfortable around peers that are similar to themselves. However, other significant points on interracial dating have been overlooked, such as reasons to why a person might accept a mate that does differ from them. America is a united collection of states founded on the very idea of tolerance of diversity, and there are more criterions to a person than just race, such as compassion, honesty or love.

Suggesting that the Black race should segregate themselves from the rest of the world so to avoid "annihilation through integration" (Dr. Grant) takes away from the beauty of our nation's multiplicity of races, beliefs and heritages. I realize that marrying outside of one's race could add complication to their life at some point in time. There might have to be compromises on social issues, and perhaps cultural issues as well. But why, Mrs. Edwards, must America "ensure a culture of economic survival as people of the Black community"?

My (black) boyfriend and I share a very devoted and sincere relationship. Neither of us attempts to make the other into someone they are not. There are indeed discrepancies between our two families, but none different than if I was dating a white man. We share the same fundamental religion, have corresponding values, and are both proud of our historical backgrounds. Contrasting characteristics and heritages should not be an issue if there is an inner connection of acceptance and affection. A genuine relationship is about sharing and compromises, no matter what race you belong to.

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Raising a child from infancy to think a particular way about distinct races, in my eyes is teaching discrimination itself. I found one claim in your article to be particularly offensive, stating "Clearly one of the most insistent images going is that white women are the most beautiful and therefore should be the most desired." It seems that almost every day there are new toys, television shows, or magazines that offer a great range of colors and cultures. Barbie dolls can be found in four different races including white, black, Asian and Hispanic. Halle Berry, Tyra Banks and other famous black women are found constantly throughout the media and lusted after by almost all men. Perhaps at one time the most common representation for beauty was wrongfully directed towards white women, but during this day in age, I find that beauty is what you make of it, whatever that might be.

Reading your article broke my heart, Mrs. Edwards. Seemingly, we can't even offer the same respect and opportunities towards other races that we would want for ourselves and loved ones. How can we ever expect to weaken racism and ignorance if we cant see past our own racial fears and prejudices?

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